hilarious short stories

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“what if you accidentally stole someone’s backpack? 15. The pop was at least five or six feet in diameter. the best part is that I single handedly changed my school’s Phys. 44. But shrugs it off knowing it’s me she’s dealing with (I’ve caused similar problems like this before), takes my second book and puts it on her desk, and makes me read my part. I opened to a random spot and just pretended like I was reading. So the teacher took my book away, I found my spot, read the part and passed it to the next person to start reading. I did it for months and I’d transfer the money from Galchick to Dudeman and all my friends wondered how I had super good gear. Collection of Short Stories : Animal Stories He finally comes back in and hands the girl her lotion, and he’s used up half of it. To this day, I beg people to order for me when anyone remotely attractive is working the cash register. I go to the place we agreed to meet and I saw no women there. I had people coming up to me and asking me for my autograph and a teacher even asked for a picture with me. Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. the biggest and most hilarious thing I ever dumped was a gallon of milk. The best move is to maintain your own library of books. I yelled out “OW, MY SHIN” although my mom heard “OW, MY SHIT.” She started yelling about how that was a bad word and we didn’t say that word, and she was going to wash my mouth out with soap. Only to be met with steam hot enough to burn leg hair off, and my dress being blown up to my neck around hundreds of other people. The worst possible time. and the rest of the time she is on her phone. share. The whole school thought I was going to star on Drake and Josh: In second grade, I told everyone that I was leaving school before next semester to move to Hollywood to play Megan’s cousin from Vermont on Drake and Josh. 9. one day I was bored and was looking around in the fridge low and behold there it was, a new gallon of milk. So one day we’re all just chilling on the couch when Ethan comes in wearing his boxers. They caught me through this video where these guys at the party were singing Beyoncé while I was in the background with a can of tuna. 36. He was new there but the book was a book I read and LOVED. Then a couple of hours later, during lunch I was walking past the staffroom to get to the lunch hall when I heard my speech being played, being curious I stopped and I heard them replay “I am gay myself actually” a couple of times over. And more funny short stories here. Driver’s license: So I was at the local DMV to get my driver’s license when my dad pissed off the lady at the counter. At the time I was reading an Artemis Fowl book, and for some reason I had two copies of the same book. 29. My mom’s thong: One day when I was 3 I decided I wanted to be like my mom and wear “big girl” panties. At The Disco concert and she promised me she would face time me so that I could watch with her. I could hear it over my music but ignored it. Vaishnavi Nagaraj - January 31, 2019. I’m left handed. So I do the usual I put on my gloves grab a razor and begin assisting the tech however much to my surprise (and displeasure) the tech suddenly pulls down the client’s pants and underwear to which I am greeted with a hairy behind. Goes all the way to the front door and opens it. I took decent care of my phone and never needed a replacement. Keep in mind that it’s like midnight right about now but I’m running and halfway through screaming. Let these interesting stories with a hilarious twist ending remind you that life is full of surprises. embarrassed, I ran away and my mom and sister had to bring me the slice of pizza from my finding place in the freezer section. Have you experienced tender, swollen bumps, either on or under your skin, that may produce foul-smelling liquid and scarring? 10. On this particular day, we were doing the Pledge of Allegiance and I had put my left hand to my chest (it’s supposed to be your right hand over your heart). And that’s the story of how my entire block found out that the abandoned house had new owners. Once we got to him I panicked and just had to blurt out “We’ve come to hello you.” and I think my voice cracked and I almost started to cry. best. After completing this quiz, please talk to your dermatologist about your answers as soon as possible. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. He came in the next day with a new pair and an apology note taped to them. So after a solid 10 minutes, I find a group of these kids crowded at the side of one of the portable classrooms. 53. See more ideas about funny stories, funny jokes, joke stories. Wrong number. All the fish: I went to this girl’s party the week after she beat the shit out of my friend. By now even dumbass Moira knows what’s up, she’s a goner. So the second she came over to me to take the seemingly 5th book, another classmate took back the other two books from her desk and split them up—sending one to me one way, and the other another way. She looked at her desk where there were seemingly 3 Artemis books and saw me with a 4th. I decide to turn on the oven light to see if maybe my mom had stuck some cookies in the oven and forgot to bake them, but instead, I find that the tray my chicken nuggets were on has cookies on it instead! ... Or this story, which might be the most embarrassing story in the entire world: Sarah Lyons @sarbeaaaar. She decided to tell us about her sporting goods fetish, where she goes into a store and buys a bunch of gear like they were books. 45. Before I continue, I should specify two things. So still, to this day, I get my hands confused. His teacher, a nun, sees adorable little Adam with his chubby cheeks and face like a cherub and asks him his name and he answers flat out, “SonofabitchAdam.”. You'll feel warm all over. Sort by. 25 2 26 4. She told me both of them, I laid out about 20 on a tray and stuck it in the oven, setting the timer before I walked out of the kitchen. when we got up to the cashier to pay, I got distracted by his cuteness so instead of asking for the pizza, I confidently said “one popcorn please”, which SAMs Club food court has none of. Little thief: When I was around four or five I was with my mom at this store buying some Christmas gifts. Everybody yelled “OHHHHHHHHHH” and turns out, it was a “nose goes” thing and the other girl had to ask the teacher if she’d ever smoked weed on her birthday because it was 4/20…. Big surprise it wasn’t. 26. Painting a roller coaster: So in my junior year of high school I got a project to make a roller coaster for my physics class. the worst part? Reply. When it was almost time to get my chicken nuggets, I walked into a cinnamon scented kitchen. But I did this time. These would then be recorded to put on the school website. Ow, my shit! This was two years ago and to this day every time my sister sees the pothole she starts dying from laughter. But it's always important to talk to a dermatologist about any medical concerns you may have. Now people call him lotion boy. I look all mad and rip the BLOODY EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH’S FILTHY HANDS. Which isn’t awful, but then I sound it out in my head. To this day I’m sure she fears my cold dead hands, ready to rip her lying face off. She didn’t know until we went to breakfast with some friends and took me to the bathroom. Reply. I had some paper in my arms from last class so I decided to use those and figure out everything during lunch instead of making a scene at like literally the first week of my high school career. I was a crying, bawling mess of a child, to the point I was doing that weird cry, stutter, hiccup noise. Do follow the link to enjoy the short stories. Now, sit comfortably. A Cute Christmas Story. MY PRINGLES. I see him step outside and I nervously await the verdict of the situation when I hear him call out to me. A terrible burning smell had filled my kitchen. The fake report card: I failed the first quarter of a class in middle school, so I made a fake report card. I mean, he was literally writhing in pain. Now for whatever reason, I was swinging my arms around in a wild half-windmill motion. When they go over and pull out the uniforms, the whole class is kind of side eyeing them. Big Frank was having his hair styled at the hairdresser's when a lorry smashed into a car, outside. 38. The teacher thought she was going to win this game but underestimated my teamwork with my classmates. I’m incredibly bad with directions and easily distracted, so I lost sight of the rest of the group and went completely the wrong way. 6. Realizing what she just said, she turned red and in a more quiet voice goes, “please don’t tell your parents.”, 27. All glowed up: After the final bell, my friend and I were walking to our buses after school through a crowded hallway. In this section I am going to list a few short stories that are accessible online for a good bite-sized read. When we get there, there is a state trooper waiting for me. One night, I had a really vivid dream where my friend and I had this huge falling out over something that I can’t even remember now. It was just PRINGLES.” Being a little angel. If that’s not enough, this tool is authentic and hilarious too. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. 24. Don’t ask me why, I was just filled with child-like glee I guess. Now let me say in my defense the neighborhood I lived in was in south Dallas and it’s still not a safe place. 14. I lied about it and said I had accidentally clicked an ad. like I was having a mental breakdown, it was so bad my mom apologized to me afterwards and bought me a nice milkshake! To this day I can probably cite that as one of my top clumsy/socially inept moments. I grabbed two of them and stashed one in each of my pockets. Can’t get enough of those creepypasta stories! There are innumerable people around the world who spend certain part of every day for reading the funny stories. So teacher takes a look at me, sees the book in my hands, then back to her desk obviously confused for a second. 5th grade teacher: In fifth grade, my teacher loathed me. Sometimes, it’s a disappointment but generally I just forget about it and move on. : When I was a kid, I was always excited to learn new vocabulary. I would’ve murdered her at the very least, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. 31. Funny Story About Toddlers ~ The Cup of Tea. We were coming up over a mountain road with a really beautiful ocean view just at sunset. So she continued with her lesson and another friend of mine took two of her books and switched out two of the Artemis books on her desk to make them look like they were still there. Have your physical symptoms, such as sores, wounds, or pain, impacted your lifestyle or mental outlook? We never had a second date. My teacher and everyone else started laughing and I got so red afterwards. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. my hypothesis? Don’t believe me? When I opened my history I was mortified since stupid me had forgotten that being the awkward virgin that I was at the time I had searched up tutorials on kissing and making out that previous night. I would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own accounts. This will comfort us by giving the books to us the moment we need them. So skip forward again and my teacher sees me with the book again and says, “How many of those do you have?” I gave my smartass remark as “enough.” She took away that book, too. The teacher asks him what he’s doing, and he responds with “I forgot to moisturize this morning” and puts even more on his face. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. She asked me where I was going so I started running as fast as I could screaming 47. At least I passed one test that day. Funny Story About Girlfriends ~ The Girlfriends' Reunion. 1. Literally had to take a sobriety test when I tried to get my license. I fucking did it this time. Sporting goods: So I have this health teacher who is really insane about exercise. When it’s too late to realize that you’ve made one stupid mistake. I had the absolute worst social anxiety when I was a kid so I was a absolutely sobbing, telling this poor employee how horrible a person I was. I literally “fell” for him: Since my crush sits behind me in class, when we stood up to do the pledge I stood up too fast and I stumbled over to him so to not fall on the ground I reached to grab his desk but I accidentally GRABBED HIM and I ended up falling on top of him and we both screamed. Has anyone in your family been diagnosed with HS or experienced HS symptoms? Me being the idiot that I am decided that it would be silent. We were both laughing and making jokes. Drama at my drama class: One time my drama class’s teacher had gone home sick so we were just put in a classroom with a movie to entertain us for the period when an alarm went off. my tiny body dragged the bottle on the floor all the way to the bathroom. Suddenly my brother’s best friend stood behind us and from this day he’s thinking that I’m taking drugs. This was when Coca Cola started to put people’s names on their bottles. I’m talking checking areas, finding witnesses, wasting my time. 20 Years to life. Anyway, we live in a town called Ocean City. We had no rice or anything to save my phone so we tried laying it out to dry, not even 15 minutes later it starts down pouring destroying my phone even more. I asked her how or why and she said that if children sit on cold ground their ovaries will freeze and that we won’t be able to have kids. When I was in first grade, my teacher taught me that “shin” was another word for leg. On the first day of kindergarten I was crying so much that my teacher picked me up and let me sit on her lap, meanwhile the rest of the kids sat on the carpet in front of me and watched me cry while she explained to them what was going on (in a language I didn’t understand). and even then my teacher was confused thinking I had just come up with the problem but no. How to win at video games: When I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game similar to Club Penguin, except it was called Nicktropolis. I started panicking because the game noises were excruciatingly loud. Duh?? !” Of course, I told the truth and said “M-m-my teacher t-t-t-taught me that word!” and she started ranting about how she was going to call the school and get that teacher yelled at. I thought I was smart enough to let it go unnoticed but I’ll never forget what my dad yelled out when he walked in. We were in my garage spray painting the tubes and these two guys come marching up to the house across the street and start yelling at the top of their lungs, beating on the door. The teacher looked at what they were laughing at and saw me with yet another book. At first I just told my best friend, but then the whole school found out. That time in freshman year: So I was always the person who’d try to leave class really fast so I wouldn’t always being paying attention to some very crucial surroundings. In the closet: OK, so one time when I was really little I had a best friend who was kinda strange but so my mom got a call one day asking if she was over at my house because they couldn’t find her and so they call again about two hours later to ask if we could help look for her and so about three hours of looking we had basically covered the entire neighborhood and they were about to call the police and we decided to check their house one more time and my mom went into her room and found her completely naked and sleeping on the top of a super tall shelf in her closet. on our other post. After a good 30 seconds of intense farting, he looked at his mom and said, “I feel all better now!”, 11. His face looks like the best chair: So there’s this really hot kid in my creative writing class. The only person talking was the teacher and she was interrupted by freaking cannon fire farts. I still remember the rush of energy I got from actually leaving the store undetected. Nothing easier than spending someone else’s money! that’s when I realized my one, true calling. Was super excited about it but with reason had anxiety about being so far from friends and family. Eric leaves the room, goes upstairs, comes back 3 or 4 minutes later without pants in my underwear, and not just any underwear; Victoria’s Secret, MY VICTORIA’S SECRET (only girl in the family). crisisification / Imgur. 140. It's important to talk to a dermatologist about any medical concerns you may have. This will comfort us by giving the books to us the moment we need them. Post the links if you still have them please :) 1.0k comments. at the pothole: Once upon a time I had a friend that was going to a Panic! I call the teacher, she tries to find them but she can’t either. One of the ways my anxiety was coming out was with nightmares and night terrors. He looked me dead in the eye and said, “This is the worst part.” I then watched this boy open the oven and pull the pizza out with his bare hands, rack and all, screaming at the top of his lungs. I drew a penis with a glue stick on the whiteboard: My whole class once got detention because I drew a penis with a glue stick on the whiteboard and when the teacher went to wipe off the board all the fluff came off and stuck to the glue. These funny short stories are really cracking my ribs? He couldn’t look me in the eye for the rest of the year. report. When pimple-like bumps or boils start showing up in areas where skin rubs together, you may question what’s going on with your body. Bare in mind I’m sat next to my grandparents in the middle of a crowded lobby. Moira was this chubby girl in my class that literally ALWAYS wore this purple princess dress that should be classified as a bad Halloween costume (seriously) and was known for being a bitch. But the wrestlers grab the uniforms and rush out of the room to go change in the bathroom, and come back to show them off. SonofabitchAdam: I used to babysit this little boy who was a real handful. ... We at Bright Side love this humor and we’ve compiled the most interesting stories we could find. I get all the way to my science class and set the book bag at my desk when LO AND BEHOLD it’s not my backpack.

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